...delivered...

Lent, Day 23

Today's truth, still being learned:

In the face of insecurity and fear, there is choice: give up or look up.

After an absolutely amazing day with my family, I find myself here now face to face with a hurt from my past that is swelling up like a wave ready to submerge my present.

It came, bursting though my heart's door without any invite...bringing along fear, insecurity, and doubt (who just happened to be dating panic, who tagged along for the party). 

I don't want them here...
but the funny thing about hurt is that sometimes...the harder we fight, the more we sink into the cold darkness.  Like an alluring quicksand, it tangles us up in its muddy embrace, happy to watch us fight a battle not ours to take on.

I don't want to respond out of the swelling emotions...
but the more I try to restrain myself, the uglier my verbiage becomes...spewed like acid onto those around me who deserve so much more than what I have in me to give.

I don't like this...
but even as my heart squirms, I find myself lifting my eyes to focus on the place where Truth still reigns supreme and peace still lives, plentiful...within reach...and desiring to see me delivered from this pit.

I don't understand...
but I choose to look up because I know that You are all I have.

"Be of good courage,
do not fear and do not be afraid of them;
for the Lord your God,
He is the One who goes with you.
He will not leave you or forsake you."
Deut 31:6

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Looking up as always,
...bina...