Thursday, February 21, 2013
Saturday, July 23, 2011
For those of you who have wondered where I have been, I am safe and well over at my new blog digs over on WordPress:
If you still want to follow Bina's Pad blog (and I hope you do!!!), you can do it from blogger by adding my new blog site to your dashboard. Click "Add" while on your main dashboard page...then choose "Enter by URL" and then enter http://www.binaspad.net/ into the space provided and then click "Follow".
Also, I have set up a FaceBook page www.facebook.com/BinasPad where you can "like" and follow my blog updates...and if you hurry up to follow the blog there, you can be entered to win a brand new copy of Angela Hunt's newest title "The Fine Art of Insincerity" that I will be giving away when the page hits 50 followers.
I have missed seeing those of you that I have gotten to know thru this blog...and I hope to see many of you over at my new place :)
Looking up as always...
Friday, May 27, 2011
...something I have been a little nervous to take on cuz it means change (shudder) and learning new things (gross).
...but it is something that I finally have decided I am ready to do.
I am moving my blog.
I realize that means I might lose some of my readers (boo) and that those of you who get this via email will need to re-register at the new site (sorry!!)...but I have had my fill of the blogger. I will be keeping this blog live for awhile to allow the cross-over...
I hope I will see you over at my new home: www.binaspad.net ...and that you will forgive me the hassle you have to go through to keep up with me.
Looking up as always...
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
This isn't an easy thing for me to admit in a public forum, but it is where I am right now and since I am sincerely seeking change in my life, being open and real will only help me move forward...so honesty, it is...durnitall.
Food is a stumbling block for me.
I go to it when I am happy,
when I am sad,
when I am overwhelmed,
when I want to relax,
when I am awake...
About a month ago, I reached out to God in a very real way (...unlike all the times I prayed about wanting to change while knowing in my heart that I was gonna get up and go grab a bag of Doritos before my tv show started...) and I really felt His presence with me on it. I heard His call to action and knew what I needed to do in order to get up and out of this pithole...but the problem is that in order to DO all that, I have to believe.
I have to believe in Him...and His promises to me.
I have to believe in myself...and who I am in Him.
I have to believe in the process...and accept change.
Fast forward to now, a month later, and I find that I am still struggling to really let myself be sold out to the belief that if I let go...He won't let me fall. What irritates me isn't that I haven't sold out (cuz I know that I am a slow learner)...no, what gets to me is that what I AM sold out to is a lie...a distortion of truth that says "what He asks of you is harder than staying right where you are."
Cuz knowing I have gained weight in the last month, instead of losing, makes me feel shame. The fact that I am wearing the biggest size jeans I own makes me feel disgust. The reality that I have been clinging to a lie shows me that I have, therefore, turned my back on Truth and that pains my heart.
Staying where I am is NOT easier...it is safe and it is known...but it also a cop-out and an excuse that allows me to not do anything that I don't want to do...which is also sin.
I don't write this for sympathy or for validation...but rather, I write it because it is real and it is my "now"...and I write it because while not everyone struggles with food, we all have something we just can't seem to get out from under and I can only pray He uses it for His glory and someone else's good.
I write it because I know that I have truly found hope in returning to His feet...in laying it all out for Him, once again unpacking my emotional backpack for Him to sort thru. It has been in the last 24 hours that I have seen Him move and comfort in a way that leaves me trembling and tearful...not out of shame, disgust or pain...but rather out of the humble realization that He loves me despite my disbelief and because I am His.
Today, I am dusted off and walking His path again...and I thank Him that He walks here with me, my best Friend and sweetest Guide.
"You will seek Me and find Me when you seek with all of your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity." Jer 29:13-14
What about you? Are you struggling to let go of something even though you know it is hurting you? How can you reach out to Him in order to find a glimpse of hope in your situation?
Looking up, as always,
Thursday, May 5, 2011
...wonder what "it" is that I am talking about??
Well, Jen honored me with a request to write a guest post over at her place during her "31 Days Closer to Hearing God's Voice" series, so I hope you will pop over to Finding Heaven to read more...and, hopefully, keep going over during her series as she has amazing words of wisdom and deep challenges posted each day on what it means to hear from God.
Looking up as always...
Monday, May 2, 2011
my thoughts tug and pull at me...like a war being waged against my senses and sensitivities until i am left cold...
and all-at-once unsure of the girl i was just a moment ago.
with one single sideways glance, my gaze rips from what's sure and latches onto insecurity and self-doubt...and suddenly i am plunged from riding atop the peaceful waves to sinking fast beneath the violent currents.
i stagger for breath...but even as tiny, barely helpful bursts of oxygen find my lungs, my mind screams out and remembers You...and i know that it is the voice of the enemy that seeks to destroy me this way...so i fight to recall the tones of Your whispers that say i am Yours.
and so...i come now, laying it all out at Your feet...my tears having bathed this offering in bitter saltiness from the innermost confines of my heart. but i lay it down because it isn't mine to hold...
no, never mine to own...
i lay it down because i know that this moment was a gift that You allowed to be tossed in my direction in order to train me to let go...
to be still...
to know what i say i know.
so i lay it down because i know You and i trust what You are:
YOU are mine...and i, oh how can it be true, am Yours.
i lay it down and i sing out my broken hallelujah as i smile to see You coming even now, to my rescue.