" '...and she went after her lovers,
but Me she forgot,' declares the Lord,
'Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
...there she will sing as in the days of her youth."
Hosea 2:13b-14, 15b
These were the verses given to me in the wee hours of the morning yesterday as I sat in the dark seeking His voice.
I read them...I wrinkled up my brow as I copied them into my journal...and, as the children began to rise from their warm beds, I shook my head as I put my things aside to start my day...confused.
I mean...I have been getting up all week to meet with Him, as He called me to do.
I have been working on letting go of the weights that serve only to noose my neck.
I have been openly and honestly working with Him to stop running to the false gods of "Here-Let-Me-Numb-You-So-You-Don't-Have-To-Feel-That-Emotion" Church of Bina.
What in the world is He leading me to Hosea for? And to those particular verses? He even had me skip thru them a bit to pull out bits and pieces to form the phrase written above... What is the deal???
So...on with my day I went...and out of my head the confusing and odd verses drifted.
Around 3:30 yesterday afternoon, I arrived home with our crew. They set off to grab their snack and to start their mountains of homework...while I, the ever forgetful and rebellious one, headed off to worship the numbing power of cheese balls.
Don't get me wrong...I know full well that there is nothing wrong with the chips or orange puffs...unless you are specifically called away from the abuse of thier charms by your Maker. And, well, let's just say that these are my favorite places to hide...and, yesterday, I poured that bowl to the rim all while the whispers echoed in my mind, attempting to call me back to Truth.
I chose to totally ignore Truth and pulled up the computer chair...ready to dive into FaceBook and my bowl of nummies with the air of a spoiled child who just ignored her father's directions.
My daughter spoke. And her words, while seemingly simple, knocked the wind from my lungs and froze my handful of cheese goodness. "I found a friend today, Momma! She is in my choir class AND we have the same lunch AND we sat together today AND named pigeons together!"
You see...this is the daughter who hasn't had a friend in her lunch period all year. She has developed depression-like symptoms over it, as this is Junior High, and has even doubted God over the fact that she prays for a chum faithfully without any answer.
This is the daughter I have prayed for earnestly each day, begging for with tears in my eyes as I drove home from dropping her off...watching her sad face leave the car knowing it is just another friendless 8 hours in the vast land pre-teen scariness.
This was an answer to a three month long prayer...and it came just as I was standing at the end of the high-dive board, ready to jump out of Truth's hands and into deadened seperation from His call.
I gushed over her sweet joy and laughed at the pigeon names with her...and then I reached for the book that I had last touched in confusion. As my eyes worked their way thru the verses again, I saw it written there, plain as day: His written intent to allure me back to Him.
He knew I would be romanced away...that I would hit that wall that says "...but this is too hard!!" and that He would need to get my attention in a way that would be greater than His whisper of "I love you". So He said to me "...and I even love your daughter..."
...and with that, He won my heart.
So...consider me allured.
Singing along with His melody while looking up as always...