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Thursday, November 5, 2009

...But I Won't

I could post an entry that wears a happy mask to make you think I am just fine
...that I have just been busy
...that I just haven't had the time or the thoughts needed to come and blog
...

I could make y'all think anything I wanted to as you can't see my eyes and you have no idea how honest I am being
...whether I am smiling
...whether the waters really run a calm crystal blue on my end of the screen
...

I could pretend that I don't know that I have painted an open window to my heart on this blog
...that I don't remember how honest I have always been
...that it doesn't matter if I am not honest now because you don't really know me
...

I could do all of that
...but then I wouldn't be me
...and that wouldn't be an honest reflection of Him
...

I need prayers.

I have a situation brewing in my life that involves real people
...real emotion
...the real me
...

I have made the step today
...that I feel He is calling me to
...that leaves me feeling vulnerable
...and overwhelmed by all the emotions that have been masked behind my silence on the issue
...

I am coming here, broken and hurting, and I simply ask you to join me in prayer as I do all I can to cling to His Truth even while the winds of life blow around me.

Thanking Him for all of you while looking up as always...

13 comments:

Christina Davis said...

Cling, cling, cling. Trust His words even when you can't feel Him or see Him. Praying for you.

Take time to stop everything extra if needed.

Unknown said...

praying for you tonight, Bina and i will continue to..

Diane said...

Praying for you and hugs and love being sent your way. :O)

Kimberly Rae said...

Love, Hugs and Prayers...

strokeofliving said...

In the Pentecostal denomination this type of prayer is called "special unspoken." So prayers are lifted up for God to sustain you through this rough time in your life. I applaud you having the desire to blog in the midst of your circumstance. A my mother always says to me, "this too shall pass."

You'll be just fine!

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Hey, Bina. Praying for you. God has not and will never leave you. You are not alone.

Jennifer @ JenniferDukesLee.com said...

I join the chorus storming the gates for you.

One +
One +
One
----
= Prayers of the Body.

He hears us.

Cry out; we cry out with you...

alicia said...

love you. praying....

Bina said...

You all leave me humbled and uplifted... Much love sent out tonight from my heart...

Wendy Paine Miller said...

I will pray. Blog life is a strange life. Real life reigns, but reigns with suffering.
~ Wendy

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Hey, Bina! I left a little something for you over at my blog! I wrote the post last weekend, before I knew you were struggling--so it's not a pity award, I promise! Hopefully it will encourage you! Have a great weekend!

~*Michelle*~ said...

Oh my sweet friend Bina.....so sorry you are amidst a storm...please know that I will pray for you and know that I am here for you.

xox
*~Michelle~*

Deborah Ann said...

Bina...I'm in the same place as you. You're not alone. It's scary trusting in God, not knowing what's around the corner. God warned me ahead of time that I would feel inadequate...and I concur.

But being in His will is the right place to be. It's right for me, and it's right for you. Embrace it, even if you don't understand it. Someday you will know the why...

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