But as I looked back in my journal just now, I found an entry from a time when I was feeling the same way I am today: weighted, crazed and concerned...only thing is that this entry was from July 2007. Amazing how much things change only to stay the same!! For this particular entry, I had simply re-written the 62nd Psalm in my own words in an attempt to connect to David's words and convey my heart to the only One who can lift my eyes above the settling fog...it is my sincere prayer that this can do something for your heart today as it has for mine. :)
I find myself at Your feet, waiting...trying to be faithful and patient because I know that all I search for now can be found in You. In this time of chaotic craziness, I find that You alone stand...still, strong and fully dependable. Here, in Your Presence...focused on Your face...I am fully strong and alive.
So many things in my life are blowing up in my face, each trying to pull my attention from You. Satan sees me as nothing more than a tumbleweed - moveable with just one deep breath. He plans constantly to knock me off balance - delighting when others speak aloud the lies that validate my unspoken fears and doubts. He comes at me with smiles but looks to stab me in the back as soon as I look away.
So here I sit, cross-legged at Your feet because it is here that I find hope...hope to keep on this path so unfamiliar and scary to me. It is only here that I find the courage to stand and the faith that with You, I cannot fall. It is through You alone that I have found dignity and grace in the face of who I am. I am safe in Your truth because You are the strength I lack...You are solid ground in the midst of the quick sand set out in the situations around me.
My deepest prayer is to lead others to feel what I feel in Your Presence... For them to know they can be so real in front of You and find You reflecting back all their wrongs, now made right, covered in Your cleansing blood.
Nothing we do or say really matters to You ~ You hold all power in Your hands so to become distracted by anything at all is nothing but loss. You will judge us by what we do with You...and you will judge with holy and unfailing love.
Lord, I praise Your name!
Looking up as always...
~Bina~
3 comments:
wow, is all I can say--again. (really I usually do have more to say than that) I am just so in awe, I had been having one of those feeling overwhelmed juggling everything life is in the air why does this person have to complicate things and what to do kind of days, when I decided to stop in and check on you. Thank you for your words. Satan is pulling at me, trying to get me to go his way, away from my Father. I will re-focus. There is always hope.
you always know just what to say... even if it is a re-run!;)
I smiled the whole time I read this... you know why? Because just from what you wrote I can see such growth in you. And because you know EXACTLY where to go when you get that feeling and you know He WILL take care of your heart. And Psalm 62... wow, your words were wonderful to read. The Psalms always calm my heart and put me into a place of worship. I'm reading a book that says we should be constantly studying the attributes of God... because it is so humbling and worshipful and glorifying to Him that we know more and more about his character.
What I know about Bina: She is a radiant and joyful child of God. She loves to share her love for God with others. She is willing to struggle, but knows where her true strength lies and that knowledge never waivers.
I thanked God for you again today.
:-)
Suz
To you both, my blog budz...
Your comments have me totally in awe of the Lord that places this universe in its flow. I am so tired...I have been running around in circles in my head for days, trying to get away from the feelings and pressures that hunt me down. I have had to fight who I am in order to try to reconcile with who He wants me to be...and what amazes me is that HE can use it as He does. I WILL learn, one day, to stop doubting His gentle call. :)
Alicia...I know you shake your head when I say this, but girl you are beautiful! I am glad to know that even if only at His gates, you and I will have the pleasure of meeting face to face...
Suz...words can't describe my love for you...I like the me I see from your eyes :)
Praising Him for you both...
Bina
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