After a wonderful weekend, I find myself facing the coming week with a heavy heart. I have so many things to think about: personal and relational struggles, goals I have set for myself (WHY do I do that???), projects to finish...and that doesn't even touch all the things I have to do on a daily basis while juggling the joys of wifey-dom, kids in school and a house to keep up with!
But as I looked back in my journal just now, I found an entry from a time when I was feeling the same way I am today: weighted, crazed and concerned...only thing is that this entry was from July 2007. Amazing how much things change only to stay the same!! For this particular entry, I had simply re-written the 62nd Psalm in my own words in an attempt to connect to David's words and convey my heart to the only One who can lift my eyes above the settling fog...it is my sincere prayer that this can do something for your heart today as it has for mine. :)
I find myself at Your feet, waiting...trying to be faithful and patient because I know that all I search for now can be found in You. In this time of chaotic craziness, I find that You alone stand...still, strong and fully dependable. Here, in Your Presence...focused on Your face...I am fully strong and alive.
So many things in my life are blowing up in my face, each trying to pull my attention from You. Satan sees me as nothing more than a tumbleweed - moveable with just one deep breath. He plans constantly to knock me off balance - delighting when others speak aloud the lies that validate my unspoken fears and doubts. He comes at me with smiles but looks to stab me in the back as soon as I look away.
So here I sit, cross-legged at Your feet because it is here that I find hope...hope to keep on this path so unfamiliar and scary to me. It is only here that I find the courage to stand and the faith that with You, I cannot fall. It is through You alone that I have found dignity and grace in the face of who I am. I am safe in Your truth because You are the strength I lack...You are solid ground in the midst of the quick sand set out in the situations around me.
My deepest prayer is to lead others to feel what I feel in Your Presence... For them to know they can be so real in front of You and find You reflecting back all their wrongs, now made right, covered in Your cleansing blood.
Nothing we do or say really matters to You ~ You hold all power in Your hands so to become distracted by anything at all is nothing but loss. You will judge us by what we do with You...and you will judge with holy and unfailing love.
Lord, I praise Your name!
Looking up as always...