I love Saturday's post even more now, as I sit here to type out today's response...days (and much needed perspective) later...and all I can do is laugh a bit at the thought that I had to stand to gear up for this week. Boy, did I ever.
You see, in all actuality, I am my own hardest puzzle to solve...
God prompts my heart with:
"I want you to __________ in order to show Me your heart about _________"
That part is clear.
But, God prompts my heart with:
"I want you to ________________ because I asked you to"
and I do the same as above except for the fact that, within a few days to a week, I talk myself out of it and soon revert to my old ways.
Irritates me to no end that I quit because the bottom line is that this is still the same God...still directions given out of love and greater perspective...still the same heart that hears it all...so WHY is it that I can't stick with it when it is simply "because I asked you to"??
Her: "Ok. So...let's simplify...
where's your focus right now?"
Me: "On my inability to control this."
"...and where is that located?"
"So since you have stopped worshipping God
to focus on your control (or lack of it)
...you have made an idol out of the issue."
"When He doesn't tell you why He is asking you to do
something, He is basically saying "Take up your cross
and follow Me on this"...and you are saying
"Not unless you give me a good reason."
"Do you need me to say more or you wanna pray?"
"...i hate you."
"Uh...you called me, yes?"
"I know...i meant to say i love you, but
it just slipped out...
It'll be my turn to hate you eventually....
I love relationships of little words because they are rooted in the love that comes from a common knowledge of Christ...and in an open understanding that Truth is more important than flattery when sin is the issue.
I love that I wrote from my heart on Saturday...because today that feeling I had makes so much more sense.
I love that God loves me enough to keep working on me...and enough to give me a friend who can see it so clearly, even when on the other end of a phone...and enough to soften my heart to learn a lesson that changes my direction in life.
(...and I love that I can say "I hate you" and she can hear "I love/need/respect/thank God for you, my friend"...because I so do!!)
For more information about this celebration of Lent on the pad
and why there are no comments allowed,
click here to read the first post Lent, Day 0.
Looking up as always...