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Monday, March 14, 2011

...parched...

Lent, Day 5

How easy it is for the "honeymoon" to end...for the newness to wear off of the romance and the lure of "before" to pull itself back into view.
I spent yesterday feeling torn...

...today, I'm off-kilter inside...

...like I'm in a tunnel, one end exiting into level, balanced relationship with the object of my faith...while the other dumps into distraction and laziness...

and I stand in the center as the tunnel is lifted into the sky...shuffled back and forth, bursting with colorful noise, pulling my gaze from here...to there...and back again. 

The tunnel, turned kaleidoscope...and me, unsure of anything other than the fact that I am not where I wanted to be!

...but WHY???

What was clear just two days ago suddenly seems fogged and muddied...

"What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.  I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, only turmoil." Job 3:25-26

What laid out as praise, now a desperate prayer to keep focused and aware...

"I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all Your works and consider what Your hands have done. I spread out my hands to You; my soul thirsts for You like a parched land." Psalm 143:5-6

Where I want to be seeming so far...and where I am, so lacking.

"I do not understand what I do...for what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate...I do." Romans 7:15

But what I still know to be true is that I am not alone in my battle for balance with my Maker...

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man..." 1 Corinthians 10:13a

...and my comfort comes in the desperate pleas of those who've walked this path before me and in the knowledge that I am not alone, even where I now stand.

"...And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13b

And so, I press on...parched and desperate...but only for the One who loves me best and knows me fully.

For more information about this celebration of Lent on the pad
and why there are no comments allowed,
click here to read the first post Lent, Day 0

Looking up as always...
...bina...

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