and I pouted about it...
and I fought it...
and I pitied myself over having "lost" it.
And when I say: pouted, fought and pitied...I mean them to the ugliest definition of the words that you can think of. And when I realize how ugly my heart has been over the whole thing (...for a YEAR!!!...) I feel so ashamed because I realize the time that has been wasted.
But yet, as I sit here tonight, with a year's worth of perspective to go over, I realize how much God has used my stubborn, red-headed pride to shape and mold me into a woman who is willing to go another round with Him. This year's Lent season begins tomorrow morning...and already committed to walking this 40 day journey by His side, I can feel an anxiety in my heart as I wonder:
What will He do this year?
What will He show me and how will I respond??
Am I really ready for this???
Big questions...lucky for me, I serve an even bigger God. :o)
My "fast" this year will consist of social networking.
So why am I on the blog, you ask??
Good question!!
I am going to come here each day to lay out where I am, what I am seeing and how I am feeling about it. I am going to do that thru poetry, rambling and pictures I take on this journey. If you want to follow my progress, you are truly most welcome...but please know that I will not be allowing comments on any of these Lent posts.
Why?
Another good question!!
Part of the social networking addiction is the need to hear from other people...a need to be liked and responded to...wondering why no one has commented (...they don't like it???...) and hoping that "enough" people will read what is up. It is a cycle, vicious and insane at times...and that is not why I am going to do this. I am here to find closure in each day, to be honest and real for those who might be travelling along with me, and to give honor and glory to the One who deserves it all (and that is for SURE not me!!).
So, if you read my posts and are touched...well, I am actually so happy about that, I can't hardly explain it to ya!!! (Hopefully the fact that my "southern" slipped in is enough proof!!) But it is my singular hope that God can use my words and life to touch someone else for Him...so I would encourage you to take what you get here to Him to see where He wants to take it. (However, you are 100%, more than welcome to email me at binaspad@yahoo.com...and comments will re-open after Lent.)
Huggles to you all...it has been a long time :0)
Lent Posts:
(...note - will be taking Sundays off from posting...)
Day 1 - ...monarch strength... Day 2 - ...hungry...
Day 3 - ...captivated...
Day 4 - ...princess...
Day 5 - ...parched...
Day 6 - ...testify...
Day 7 - ...decade...
Day 8 - ...and over...
Day 9 - ...vulnerability...
Day 10 - ...wait...
Day 11 - ...chosen...
Day 12 - ...prayer...
Day 13 - ...aware...
Day 14 - ...caught and romanced...
Day 15 - ...joy...
Day 16 - missed
Day 17 - ...refocus...
Day 18 - ...sweetest song...
Day 19 - ...factoids...
Day 20 - ...betrayer...
Day 21 - ...here...
Day 22 - ...addicted...
Day 23 - ...delivered...
Day 24 - ...an attempt...
Day 25 - ...equals...
Day 26 - ...surrender...
Day 27 - ...faith...
Day 28 - ...i know...
Day 29 - ...smile...
Day 30 - ...tears...
Day 31 - ...sure...
Day 32 - ...merciful graces...
Day 33 - ...a moment...
Day 34 - ...friends...
Day 35 & 36 - ...stuck...
Day 37 - ...crosses...
Day 38 - ...good...
Day 39 & 40 - ...finished...
Looking up as always...
...bina...
