Sometimes I can be so complicated!!!
I want to be lifted up so I can see what's happening through the crowd, but as soon as I am perched atop my Father's shoulders I begin to squirm to be free again. I begin to dabble in freedom and soon begin to wonder why it is that God has allowed me to get so dirty without saying anything. I run up for a huge hug and, as He wraps me up, I turn around to remember what calls to me outside of His warm grip.
Is it because I am a redhead?
Because I am a woman??
Because I have a case of child-induced, too-many-unmatched-socks-itis, what-the-heck-is-that-grossness-on-my-sink sanity issues???
I really don't know, but I can say I am so tired of being tired because I am running here and there without aim...and that's just in my head! Talking about what is going on in my real life would be the longest post you've ever seen...and I care too much that you still come here to do that to you.
Yeah...I'm a giver.
After an amazing time of honest talk with one of my beautiful nieces tonight, I came home to listen to a song she suggested...and while it wasn't an artist I would typically look up, I found myself in some of the lyrics:
"And I don't want the world to see me,
cause I don't think that they'd understand...
when everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am."
I don't want to be seen,
but I want to be known...
They won't "get" me,
so I am gonna hide away....
They won't "get" me,
but I want them to try....
I want to be seen
even in the face of a brokenness...
Cause everything is broken,
but I need to feel whole...
I want to be His,
but I want control...
Hmmm....
Just please tell me, those of you who may have figured it all out, that once I find the missing socks and clean that goop off the sink, it will get better...?? I laugh, but in some ways I am serious...
Talk to me...you ever find yourself here? Confirm that it isn't just me and you will be my best friend forever!!! ;o)
Listening to the GooGoo Dolls sing while looking up as always...
4 comments:
Really? you have to ask? LOL. only every day! "sigh"
chin up my friend, tomorrow is a new day. love you
Yes, Bina. Scripture says, "and it shall come to pass," not stay! :)
Can I get and AMEN?! Sadly, this is the cycle we all are a part of whether we admit it or not. You do no good to deny it, so lead by example. Its in the moments that we realize we've strayed that we find our way back.
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