This post, it shall contain ranting of the rather poor-little-me type...consider yourself warned.
I have asthma. Yes, I know I have mentioned it before, but I say it again for those who haven't always been here to look into these little windows of my life...
I have asthma...and sometimes, when this warrior is armed and at work, it is very difficult to remember that the asthma doesn't have me.
This past Sunday, I had a tickle in my throat. The tickle came from the cold that I finally decided to take on after all the months of my kids passing it back and forth...thought it would be fun to play with...I was wrong. But I digress... I had a slight tickle while singing and so I ahem-ed to clear it. When I tried to clear it casually, the tickle turned into an annoying cough that travelled quickly down my throat and into my lungs. Once there, the asthma decided that the cold was getting too much attention and so it woke from its slumber to freeze my chest.
Fast forward 5 days, you will find me in a doctor's office.
Why wait five days? Avoidance. Pure and simple.
What was I avoiding? The dreaded "s" word...
Yup, you guessed it: Steroids. The teeny-tiny white pills that work wonders on an almost immediate lung unfreezing....but in payment cause stabbing pain in my arms and legs while they enhance my appetite and swell my face up to a puffy and round variation.
The smallest of white pills...and I hate them with a large ferociousness.
But even more than I hate the pills...I am confused by the "why's" that come with having a long term issue like this.
And so, I sit here...venting at you poor, innocent reader...working my hardest to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I sit here really, really wanting to see the bright side...the rainbow...the up to the down...but I just don't because, as I mentioned above, I can so often forget that while I have asthma, the asthma doesn't have me.
I sit here, somewhat embittered and fully tired...and I put it out there to you, my trusted and unseen friends because I don't want to let the uglies win...and the best way I know, is to be reminded that I AM NOT ALONE.
What kind of things do you have in your life that you can often forget don't have you?
What verses do you turn to when you fight to get out from under the pull of the tide?