That being said, it isn't any easier for me to grasp the depth of what it is that God calls us to on a daily basis than it is for a person brand new to His ways. I struggle...and I question...and I wonder...and I lose sight of the path, more often than I'd care to admit.
"You promised to always be with me...so why can't I find You??"
"You said to put myself out there...
and I did...
and then You let this happen??"
I know I am not alone in feeling as I do about things
...which is why I lay it out here, over and over, on a public blog.
"You gave me a passion to do this...so why is that I can't do what it is that I long to do??"
I know that I sometimes say what some of you think
...which is why, when here, I don't hold back in what I'm feeling.
"All I want, more than anything, is to just be Yours...
free from my past...
so why can't I get out from under this heavy weight??"
I also know you might be able to find a road to healing
...which is why I love God so very much and keep trying,
even when I don't get it.
"How is it that I can find You in the midst of all this chaos??"
I don't eeeeven pretend to believe that I have all the answers the world needs...nor do I think that I hold the corner market in reaching out to others in His name...but I do know that when I come and pour out my heart for you to read, I often find the answers that I needed too. I do know that when I come and take off the mask that I apply so often, I find truth...that world doesn't revolve around me. I do know that whenever I take the time to sit and focus, I always find Him.
I have recommitted to being more regular with my posting...not for the traffic or even, quite honestly, for you (...even tho I truly love y'all more than my luggage...), but because when I stay faithful here...I tend to stay more faithful to Him...and me...and the path that I most desire to follow.
And that is why I bother...
Looking forward down the path all while keeping my heart looking up, as always...