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This blog will be closing soon...please come join me over at my new home-away-from-home over at http://www.binaspad.net!!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Faith...Unwrapped

It was my skinny, six-year old self that first recognized the voice of God.

"Yes, I know what am talking about."
Faded memories of me praying with my hands enclosed within my mother's still dance at the frayed edges of my mind.   The room is blackened with the scars of time long gone, but the portrait of my head bowed next to hers still whispers sweetly to my heart.

It was the sixteen-year old version of me that burned at the call from His heart.

Youth camp in the hot Arizona mountains. 
I still remember the heat that flooded my face from within when the altar call was given. 
I knew they would all look at me and laugh
...whisper and make jokes at the girl moving to the front. 
But His pull was bigger than my pride.

My twenty-three year old heart was the one re-captured.

Divorced mother of three.
I didn't come the altar alone and that is enough to show He knew me so well.  He provided me the hands of two new, beautiful friends on the journey of re-learning the tones of His call
...the beat of His heart.
He had been silent for years
...but now He spoke with the raging of newly formed rivers.

The twenty-eight year old me is the one who tripped on His holiness.

Struggling to carry the monkey on my back.
The day He rose before me,
holy...white...enthroned
that is the day my heart can't forget or think of without a jump in rythym. 
His "I Love You" now masked within "I Am God and YOU Are Mine"
was all my mind could hear.

Today...the thirty-three year old looks back.

A week into a powerful season of Lent.
Day seven since I laid my "Isaac" down on the altar...
since the tears blinded,
since my heart threatened to break,
since I discovered faith's true essence of invisibility...
Today, I look around and can't help but see Him.

He floats...
...whispers...
...laughs...
...calls...
...dances...

He exists in power and might
...and today
I can't help but sit,
longing to unwrap Him,

over and over again.

 Emily over at Chatting at the Sky hosts a weekly "chance" to notice...to savor...to enjoy and unwrap the gifts (...no matter the size...) that God drops into our chaos that is life.


Listening to the silence while looking up as always...

14 comments:

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

This is just beautiful, Bina...

Terri said...

Thank you for letting me visit your beautiful blog! And thank you for the encouraging words on mine. It is great to meet you! Blessings!!

Diane said...

Along all of your wonderful words, there is a strong rhythm behind them, drawing the reader along. Very powerful. thanks for sharing. :O)

www.dinaeestrella.com

alicia said...

Powerful. Not only the words used, but the journey of faith you have been on. Love ya sooo much!
Blessings today!

It Feels Like Chaos said...

Beautiful post! Isn't it amazing to look back at all the different ways God has made Himself known to us? Sometimes subtly and sometimes so obvious.

Get Real Girl said...

So glad that I took the time today to discover your beautiful post. Your powerful words hit me right in the face today. I think it is time for me to remember all of those points in my life that God was right there waiting for me to open my eyes and my heart to His glory!

Beth said...

Wow. This is a beautiful expression of your journey- clearly you're very creative. I'm glad I chose your post to read today - it gives me chills to read things like this. May the next step be meaningful and full of joy.

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

Fabulous writing.

And Bina, God is the ever-present thread through that story, isn't He?

O, our steadfast Father ...

Dawn said...

really lovely to read... and think about each time frame. the One who never changes walking along with us, while we take two steps forward and nother back.

Karen said...

Your journey in words blessed me. Thank you.

Thea said...

Bina- First, thanks for visiting my blog. I absolutely love, love, love your post today. I cannot wait to read more of your blog. Your heart is real, refreshing, and radiant! Thanks for sharing!

L.L. Barkat said...

Glad to be here for this quiet, somber, yet gently hopeful unwrapping.

Deidra said...

Wow...beautiful images. Unbelievable faith. Loving and holy God. Thanks for unwrapping this for us.

Deborah Ann said...

My spirit really got stirred here. There is so much hope in your poetic words. Maybe today I won't get to that secret place, but I can look back and see His fingerprints in the past, and surely His touch will come once more...many times more. Come, Lord Jesus. Come...

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